1 – I believe we crave these things mostly because of the marketing and indirect messages we ‘hear’ on social media, in movies and songs, even in the nonchalant conversations we have throughout each day.

The message is “You need to change, you need THIS in order to be good enough.”

‘THIS’ can be bigger breasts or more money, a nicer home or a passionate lover/husband/wife, perfect kids, a manicured lawn, a thinner and more toned body, or those perfect black heels that’ll make you look amazing.  Once you have this, then you will be happy… then you will be enough.

2 – I also believe we crave these things because we’ve never been taught what to do when life hurts.  There are no lessons in school about what to do when your heart is broken, when your spouse has an affair, when a loved one dies, when your friend betrays you, or when you experience violence such as sexual or physical abuse, rape, or even narcissistic control.

3 – To make it even more frustrating – considering the messages that we need ‘this’ to be enough and that we’re never taught what to do with pain – WE ARE STILL THEN TOLD to look good, stay hip, be kind, take care of everyone else first, and never get too angry.

It’s nuts.  And, to be perfectly frank, it was driving me nuts.

The good news is…

After more than seven years in traditional therapy, I still needed more help.

This wasn’t because of clinical depression, suicidal tendencies, or any other diagnosis.

It was because I hadn’t yet learn HOW to live a happier, more confident life free from the pain in my past. 

The pain in my past included:

• the death of my second child, Jonathan
• rape (at age 18… still destroying aspects of my life at age 38)
• alcoholism
• a divorce from hell (you wouldn’t believe how unnecessarily painful this became)
• NEVER feeling like I fit in anywhere
• deep (sometimes scary – even paralyzing) depression
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• and, the coup de grâce (that I believe most women suffer with), the lifelong belief that I was not good enough

HERE’S WHAT I LEARNED after therapy had ended
(and this surprised the heck out of me!)

Tools.

There are TOOLS you can use in order to live your best life!

Obviously I was aware of (and had wielded) tools before – screwdrivers, hammers, even a jigsaw, but I did not know that there were tools when it came to happiness.  HAPPINESS TOOLS!!

I learned that I could use these tools when I was feeling upset in any way – they helped me understand my upset rather
than stuff it inside or allow it to ruin my day.
These tools helped me understand and accept all my emotions and use them to help me rather than hold me back.
They showed me how to better understand who I am and why I do, feel, and believe as I do.
The tools taught me about mindset and showed me how I can change my brain’s patterns of thinking and stop the incessant, inner negativity I’d been hearing all my life (in my head).
I learned how to forgive.
And I started living with more intention, optimism, and confidence.

The tools are priceless, and I knew I had to find a way to share them with other women.